Felicia's Fempire

https://feliciasfempire.com

Is adulthood the death of dreams, ideas and optimism?I sat in a room with a handful of women recently and directed two hours dedicated to laying out the vision we had for our lives.We meticulously cut out images from REAL SIMPLE, O Magazine, InShape and Southern Living. We spent our time together talking about the laws of attraction, is that stuff real? I think it might be. I asked everyone all the details of their lives. That’s just who I am. Not nosey, just genuinely curious about who the individuals I was sharing a space with were.One woman in the room had been married 46 years, before her husband changed his mind. Is that even allowed? She had one daughter and a grandson she just beamed over. Spending time with new people was a new adventure she had set out on and this was the perfect place to embark on such a journey. She stood out to me – 46 years, then divorce. Wow.A few of the women were moms. I could tell we were all sharing this same identity, anxiety, sense of self issue- on different levels, but the same nonetheless, just in different parts of that journey.If I book a gig, whether it’s speaking or instructing, I always bring my daughter and sometimes my youngest son. I want them to remember me stepping out of my comfort zone, being the only voice in a quiet room- talking about things that make the world a better place, creative and in the pursuit of creative passion and entrepreneurship. I pray they remember me this way, and that it’s a source of strength for them as adults when they want to take their own chances.My little girl spent the time we had at this event carefully building her vision board. She filled it with things she dreamed of having as an adult. A ring – she would buy it herself because she doesn’t hope to be married, kids – she plans to adopt two girls, a nice car, cute dogs, a house, home décor she likes, sayings, colors, ideas. It was. beautiful. As parents, when we have a young child, we get glimpses, and previews of the adults our kids are going to be. Those moments are brief, they come and go so fast and it quickly returns to dragging days full of kid stuff – arguments, practices, morning battles, social issues and them warring us to become independent. But that night, I saw my daughter and who she hoped to be… and it was beautiful.When do we lose this? When does our vision shift from owning the world, complete freedom & possibility – to just. hiding. Hiding from ourselves, hiding from others, hiding from chance and hiding from dreaming.Is adulthood the death of dreams, plans, ideas and optimism?At the end of our time together we each shared our vision boards. Gosh, y’all, they were beautiful. The consensus of the boards was the same. We all just wanted to be happy & healthy. Our goals weren’t the same by way of direction. But by way of emotion, we were so much alike. We each presented our boards, and with each presentation there was a little bit of doubt – even from me.It was as if we all thought we were a tab bit silly for dreaming so big. No one has clean closets. Right? Being able to put a nutritious meal on the table after a long day working, it probably isn’t going to happen, but it’s a good vision. A new car! Yes, something reliable. that would be incredible! But only a fool would dream of something like that. I should be more realistic, I’d be happy with an oil change.But not my little one.No, she stood up unapologetically and without doubt or fear of the 2 million obstacles life would be sure to throw her way, she told the vision she had for her life. It was all GOING to happen, it was just a matter of time. Simply because, well, you can’t adopt babies or even drive the brand-new car you’d buy yourself with the money you earned from being a movie star after you did your due diligence for health care and the impoverished, when you’re 9. The only thing she needed to happen was the passing of time, because she would figure the rest out, she’d work for it, she’d put in the time.Life has a way of making things dim. We make decisions that don’t work out how we’d planned, people walk away, we experience broken hearts, some of us are victimized in ways we can’t move past, and then all the sudden, possibility seems slight, so slight that we can’t even dream of it. Our ideas of a better life become outlandish and unrealistic based on where we’ve wound up and visions become less.Sisters, somehow, some way… we have GOT to find a way to keep creating visions and pursuing them like were 9. Fearlessly, unapologetically and wondrously. Optimism & dreams are not MADE to die or to make apologies for. Don’t allow adulthood to rob you.

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